Monday, October 31, 2011

A trio of stories.

1. Saturday morning we were all hanging around before I had to be at work at noon. All of a sudden Allyson runs up to Ben, pulls down her pants and says: "DADDY! LOOK AT MY BUTT!"

2. This morning I woke up Allyson to tell her our Halloween plans.
"We're going to eat breakfast, and do some laundry at Grandma Sue's house. Then when Daddy gets home from work we'll put your costume on and go down to Grandma Deb and Grandpa Jim's house to go trick or treating. After that Grandpa Jim's going to feed us chili."
"That sounds nice. I will be dressed as a cat. You're just going to be dressed like my mommy."

Fun aside: Ben is going to wear his Albert Pujols t-shirt and carry around a small suitcase. He's going as Free Agent Pujols.

3. Just now, I was folding laundry in my mom's basement. Ally came down to "help" and saw a hole in the wall where a register cover goes (Mom hasn't gotten around to replacing it yet."

Ally: That's a hole. Duh.
Me (cracking up): What was that?
Ally: That was my voice saying duh.

She's so goofy.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Thanks a lot, kid.

Allyson was watching Dora while I got the breakfast stuff cleaned up. I started to dance around a little, mostly to try and wake myself up (I stayed up way too late watching the Cardinals win last night).

Allyson looks up and says: "Stop dancing, Mommy. You're bad at it."

Gee, thanks a bunch.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Allyson has a little friend named Becca. Becca is about three weeks older than Allyson is. Her grandma is our choir director at church; her mom and I were due roughly around the same time and were even in the same childbirth class.

Tonight, during choir practice, the nursery volunteer said that Allyson and Becca were playing grocery store. Allyson was cashier; Becca was her customer.

Allyson: You got money for your groceries?
Becca: Nope.
Allyson: So get a credit card.
Becca: Okay!

The other funny I have to report is this: Ben's parents are keeping Allyson overnight tomorrow night. We were telling Allyson this:

Me: And tomorrow, you'll be having a sleepover at Grandma Deb's house!
Allyson: Grandpa Jim's gonna make popcorn!

My question: Does Grandpa Jim know that?

Saturday, October 15, 2011

We're famous!

Well, kind of.

Way before I started this blog - like a few weeks before Allyson turned three - Allyson said something hysterical. I e-mailed it into Parents Magazine because they run funny quotes from kids on the last page of every issue. I thought, it'll be great if it gets in but no big deal if it doesn't.

Flash forward to yesterday. The November issue of Parents was in my mailbox. And our quote was in it!

Here is the long version of the quote they ran:

Ben and I are trying to teach Allyson manners. On this particular day she wanted some crackers. So Ben, wanting her to ask politely, said: "Can you say, 'please may I have some crackers?'"
Allyson answered: "Sure thing, Daddy. Get me some too."

I get absolutely nothing except for the thrill of being in print. But it's pretty cool.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Bedtime Prayers

We've been praying with Allyson before bed. It's part of our routine - I read her a book (sometimes two, sometimes 15), and then Ben comes in and we pray together. He usually leads us, but tonight he had a committee meeting at church so all the bedtime stuff was left to me.

Allyson decided she wanted to do the prayer all by herself. Here is what she came up with. Keep in mind she is still feeling a little puny because of this cold she picked up someplace:

"Dear God. Thank you for everything. Help me to feel much better. I'm not always good, but I'll do better. You love us and we love you back. Jesus' name, Amen."

I can be kind of cynical sometimes.  Usually only on days that end in y. But this totally made my heart grow three sizes.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Allyson is currently kind of upset because:

"I can't poof myself in the TV."

Not even sure what to say to that.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

I think Allyson has a cold. Oh, joy of joys. I'm not sure exactly where she got it. Maybe the nursery at church? Anyway, she woke up this morning with a stuffy nose.

"Oh, Mommy. My nose doesn't work. I need medicine."

My medicine cabinet, as far as Ally is concerned, is kind of sad: Children's Tylenol, Children's Claritin (she unfortunately inherited her mom's allergies), and... uh... some Hyland's teething tablets I should probably get rid of except I can't find an expiration date.  So I gave her some Claritin and left it at that.

I hate cold season.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Goodnight, Moon.

Last night after choir practice at church, I was getting Allyson out of the van.

Allyson: Look, Mommy, it's the moon!
Me: Sure is!
Allyson: It looks like an egg. It might hatch soon.
Me: Oh? And what do you think is going to hatch out of there?
Allyson: A baby chick. (sigh) I don't see any shooting stars tonight, just regular ones.
Me: I don't think I've ever seen a shooting star either, so don't feel bad.
Allyson: Mommy? When the moon hatches a baby chick, will the baby chick grow up and lay another moon?
Me: Uh... I guess so.
Allyson: Good. I'm sleepy, where are my jammies?

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Allyson's new tent came yesterday. And she is in love.  But:  "We forgot something, Mommy."

Oh yeah?What'd we forget?

"The hippo.  This tent needs a hippo."
Where on Earth did you get that idea?
"On the box. There's a hippo in there. But not in mine."

So guess who's probably getting a stuffed hippo for Christmas?

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Baseball.

It's October, which means: Baseball playoffs! Our beloved Cardinals won the NL Wild Card, and are currently on the wrong end of a 1-0 series with the Phillies.  Anyway, before tonight's game started we were watching the other National League Divisional Series: Arizona Diamondbacks at Milwaukee Brewers.  Allyson is not as into baseball as Ben and I yet, but she is getting there:

Allyson: I want to play a baseball game.
Me: Yeah?
Allyson: Yep. Looks fun.
Me: Okay, Ally. How do you play baseball?
Allyson: You get the bat. And then you wait for the guy to throw the ball to you. Then you swing the bat, and smash the ball!
Me (cracking up): Then what?
Allyson: Oh, you run. You have to run. If you walk, you lose.

I also asked her advice on who to root for in that series, since I kind of like both Arizona and Milwaukee. Guess I'm going with Milwaukee, since she advised that I root for "the blue guys."

Saturday, October 1, 2011

You will receive a fortune (cookie)

Ben had an eye appointment today. Our eye doctor is in a strip mall-type joint, two doors down from a Chinese restaurant. So he brought home a big batch of sweet and sour chicken and fried rice for lunch. (Allyson, ever the adventurous eater, took two bites of my chicken and asked for a PB&J.)

It came time for fortune cookies, which Allyson enjoyed much more than the sweet and sour chicken. She was particularly interested in the fortunes:

"I will read this to you, Mommy. What does it say?"
"I don't know, Ally, what does it say?"
*after scrutinizing the paper for a moment* "It says 'Good people.'"

And now she is sitting on the couch, watching The Wiggles (hey, who is this Sam guy? What happened to Greg?) and making this screeching noise I can only describe as non-human.

*screech*
"Allyson Joy! What do you think you're doing?"
"Just going like this: *screech*!"
"Well, stop that. You're giving me a headache."
"You should go have some coffee."

She's right, I probably should.