Yesterday was laundry day at my mom's house. Super-fun! Sarcastically for me (I loathe doing laundry), legitimately for Allyson (Grandma Sue has CATS! And DOGS! And UNCLE KEVIN LIVES THERE! YIPPEE!)
It was nearing lunchtime and I was cooking some pasta (since it was all my mom had - have I mentioned she quit believing in going to the grocery store?). Ally was munching on some fruit snacks in the living room. All was quiet. Then, suddenly, I heard loud, anguished meowing. Then Allyson: "Oh, Waylon! You are not being kind to me!" (Waylon is one of my mom's two cats, so named because he wails a lot. The other cat, Mona, moans a lot. Such original names my mom came up with.)
In a decision I immediately regretted, I went to check it out. Everything LOOKED normal - Allyson eating fruit snacks, Waylon sitting there meowing and looking pained.
Me (a la Mr. Belding): Hey, hey, hey, *what* is going on in here?
Allyson: I wanted to share a fruit snack with Waylon but he told me "no thank you" and then he meowed at me!
Waylon: Meow.
Allyson: You stop it, Waylon! You don't want me to share with you, that isn't kind!
Waylon: *hiss*
Allyson: *hiss*
Me: Okay, that is enough out of both of you. Allyson, leave Waylon alone. Cats don't even eat fruit snacks. They eat kitty treats. Waylon, you stop hissing at Allyson right now.
Waylon: Meow. *hiss*
Me: That's it. (I picked Waylon up and tossed him into the basement.) Wow, that was weird.
Allyson: Mommy, would you like a fruit snack?
Me: Sure. Wait, did Waylon lick this one?
Allyson: *sigh* MOMMY. He told me "no thank you."
I guess I can add "cat referee" to my resume now.
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